Thread regarding Schlumberger Ltd. layoffs

Schlumberger Organizational Announcement - Zaleshepifu by Paal Kibsgaard

Zaleshepifu is now appointed global employee relations Vice President and reports directly to me. This will allow us to align employee reductions directly with our corporate strategy and ensure we maximize our profit levels and deliver the highest possible returns to our shareholders. It also aligns the company and HR employee reduction function with our global transformation strategy and ensures we will deliver on the KPIs established for employee reductions and productivity.

Zaleshepifu has an exemplary record in employee reduction and productivity increases wherever he has been employed but particular recognition must go out to the transformation programs he lead in Baku and Libya. Zaleshepifu will report directly to me in this new position.

Please join me in welcoming Zaleshepifu back to the company.

Paal

by | Post ID:
1409 views | 48 replies (last )
Comment! It's anonymous! Reply to this post anonymously by submitting the form near the bottom of the page!

48 replies (most recent on top)

Is he in Houston now?

by | Post ID:

will be an excellent team out there deciding on the fates or yours and your families. Run away!

by | Post ID:

there was some damage too from the horse urine wine his family drank whilst he was growing up

by | Post ID:

Yup, once you've had 'nad, it never gets bad. Zaleshepifu prefers donkey because his is so well endowed that he has been brought up on assault charges by small-hipped women. And it was consentual!

by | Post ID:

Yes, Azeris doing it in order to not lose their virginity. The men believe that eating lamb testicles will give them more sexual power. In the same manner, eating lamb guts is believed to give them guts. The person named Zaleshipihu here in addition to these extremes eats lamb and donkey sperm. Give him some mule when he arrives but watch him closely. Pal Keeps Guards is simply blinded by Zalephishtu's gonad size as he is a bender too. This is the reason the company pays medical insurance premiums for employed homosexsual couples.

by | Post ID:

I hate to admit it but I actually had to Google "the Greek way" but thanks for the info. I never got out of West Virginia. Who knew?

by | Post ID:

A slight correction - he is doing anything that moves in the Greek way. He just could not get what he wanted. As far as his diseases - ass papilloma and gonorrhea, still has running nose and dick and nothing more, basically all STDs.

by | Post ID:

She has been fired for behavior not in line with company expectations

She had been there 25 years but this time she really crossed the line and was fired this afternoon on orders from the Baku butchers hospital bed

Her only crime was to have a slightly higher salary than new hires because of her seniority and Z decreed this unacceptable

by | Post ID:

It can only mean one thing unfortunately

by | Post ID:

His secretary scheduled a VC with my group on Monday. Hoping all goes well? I tried to find out what it's about but she can't be found on LDAP.. Does this mean anything?

by | Post ID:

The last I heard is that Z is recovering quickly and will be released from hospital and back to work soon stronger and more determined than ever to deliver value for shareholders which really means firing more people. Be scared be very scared...

by | Post ID:

Maybe he can work out being reassigned to West Virginia. Should solve the problem.

by | Post ID:

Indeed he is famous for doing donkeys and other hairy animals except pigs in Baku. Watch him now in NAM where animal cruelty is not tolerated. Hide your wives!

by | Post ID:

I am Legend

by | Post ID:

His name is Legion.

by | Post ID:

I need to know his real name.

by | Post ID:

I recommend keeping a loaf of bread in your car. Zaleshepifu always comes in early so use the opportunity and put bread crumbs all over his car and watch the pidgeons do their thing.

by | Post ID:

Well after resigning yesterday, I slept the best night ever. No more stressing about the Butcher of Baku. I am out from underneath his evil reign.

by | Post ID:

I cannot find this fen name anywhere - Zaleshepifu. What is this oghrash's real name? in Azri it means the one who fs his mother. Why are you afraid? He is the one who needs to be afraid.

by | Post ID:

Turned in my resignation. When my boss asked why I was doing it, I told her. She just looked at me like I was crazy. They are all clueless. Glad I am out. I am done with Zaleshepifu.

by | Post ID:

I will not work for such a sub human being or corporation - bye bye I am out of here

by | Post ID:

After reading all these experiences with Mr. Zaleshepifu, I will not work for this organization any longer and I will be submitting my resignation this morning. Good luck to everyone.

by | Post ID:

All the shareholders care about is that he triples their wealth. They don't care how he does it. Surely YOU must know that!

by | Post ID:

Hey I don't understand you guys. You have made a legend out of some Azeri deeply sunken in bribes up to his ears. His transition to NAM will triple his wealth. The shareholders must know that!

by | Post ID:

I was terminated by Zaleshepifu. I lost everything because I was fired for cause. When I asked what cause, he replied "cause I feel like it". I felt like I was in the presence of the devil himself. I've never met anyone that cold before.

by | Post ID:

So true

by | Post ID:

If there is one Azeri, there will be many Azeris which will increase the organizational bribery network. The example of that is BP in Houston.

by | Post ID:

I didn't find his leadership style very motivating. Managment by fear doesn't drive superior performance and he is just the executioner not a leader.

by | Post ID:

I second that. Unlike most management in SLB, Zaleshepifu is very fair in his assessment of poor performance. No favorites with him. I have always believed in my capabilities and my work ethic and, quite frankly, I don't fear him at all. Once you learn his rules and, more importantly, play by them all will be good. What he does, he does for the collective greater good.

by | Post ID:

I welcome this. I was in Libya when Zaleshepifu arrived and the first thing he did was remove those that didn't act on his interpretation of SLB values. That is everyone who disagreed with him. Us little guys have always been at risk of the chop but now those at the top will have to live by their own mantra or get the chop. Zaleshepifu will not tolerate underachievers or threats to his position in upper management.

by | Post ID:

Who the f is this VP - Azeri, what is true name. Why everyone is afraid to write his name? If I want another job, I will find it. Fuch this azeri and all their VP. If I could I would put my name here I yes I fuch them all Azeris. Just don't want someone later to publish my name soemwhere becuase of that pusiws What is his true fen name???? I will never work for Azeris!!!!!!!!!1

by | Post ID:

I'm sure that management model will work once SLB learns how to generate massive amounts of revenue from internet advertising. That dog won't hunt in "the patch". We don't need creative thinkers or employee freedom. We want the best of the best. Men and women who are willing to grind it out until the job gets done. No Goggler would last one day on a rig. Zaleshepifu was also a young engineer once thought like this trainee. Fortunately he received great benefit from life's lessons operating a wireline unit back in the day. It toughened him and the shear resolve that grew in him has made Zaleshepifu truly a force of nature. Love him or hate him- he will do what is best for the company so that those who remain will have a better future. It's not personal - it's personnel.

by | Post ID:

Not really go look at how Google or apple treat their people

by | Post ID:

Like it or not this is why SLB is a top top company and will stay that way.

by | Post ID:

"an employee is a mere piece of meat marinated by the juices of his/her success or not in the company. I am the butcher who trims and cuts the SLB meat to ensure it stays lean and fit."

"A career in SLB demands struggle. Those who have everything given to them become lazy, selfish, and insensitive to the real values of the company."

"If this war on inefficiency and laziness is not fought with the greatest brutality then in the future we will not have the strength to outperform in the market and deliver financial results and increase our bonus payments. If there is no pain there is no progress."

by | Post ID:

With the Butcher of Baku now appointed to VP level, Paal has sent a very clear message. Performance is everything. I expect any emloyee who generates less than 40% EBITA has a short future. It may not be fair but it is the hand we are dealt. Soon coefficients will go below 1.0. You will have to pay to work for Big Blue. Be thankful you have been given that privilege. Those that survive are the future.

by | Post ID:

Sounds like Zaleshepifu can't get out of the hospital fast enough. The company is already beginning to crumble without his leadership. To even allow employees to have thoughts like this trainee is stating is dangerous. We need a better HR screening process for new hires. Who let this guy slip through the cracks?

by | Post ID:

It's a business buddy and business have to fire people now and then or everybody loses their jobs.

Go join a spiritual community somewhere because you are clearly not cut out for business

by | Post ID:

I joined to get a good career, travel, training and opportunities for my future. I didn't join to be firing people and I don't want to be a manager.

I have met people like Z in the company and people are scared to even talk with them. In the beginning they told me it was like being in a big happy family but it ain't so.

I'm looking at other career options now

by | Post ID:

The only value that means anything is the value of the stock when trading closes. You won't last the year. Why did they hire you? You obviously don't share the corporate values. I recommend you stay off the Z man's radar screen.

by | Post ID:

Post a reply

:

Related pages


pearson jobs bostontimecard lockheed martinfmc technologies houston locationsdst layoffsjobs aecomartco-bell corporationstate farm call center richardson txl3 waco txneiman marcus last call hourssamson oil gasamerican general layoffshalliburton corporationbank of americacomwalled garden centurylinkpatterson dental headquartersinfusystem stockibm stock procecarpenter metalstd williamson canadakmart bradley ilavaya layoffsvirginia unemployment eligibilitydave lesarat&t jobs houston texaschevron net worthpioneer drilling san antonio txnews12ct weathercashier application for walmartjourneys wolfchasesears order status confirmation numberstaples rochester miwyman gordon pccvons closing hoursmks industries incjcpenney lakelandeast lansing apple storeweatherford well servicescabelas charlestonihs publishingjcpenney york pababies r us brandonjourneys tri county mallrural metro jobskpmg canada jobscarbo ceramicsmckesson richmond vanabors houstonapple store charlestoncnhi layoffsapple store philadelphia walnut streetlowes asmthe unity hospital of rochesterjourneys springfield iljourneys fort waynevarco houstonjp morgan employment verificationbank of america rancho cordovahitachi consulting dallasnexen cnooccabela's christmas hoursgulfstream aerospace long beachbank of the ozarks incsymantec corporation bangalorecoca cola jobs in floridatransamerica ira logincsc 401k planwww 88sears com associatecitigroup message boardntt jobslockheed martin stennis space centerapple store boise towne squarestoker ostlercbs 60 minssears repair houstoncsx jobs ohiococa cola jobs tulsamarathon petroleum findlay ohyt w2si 140 trackittcummins rocky mountain engine plantcarestream health layoffs